YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't make out with my wife yet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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