Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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