you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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