i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
