How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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