16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
