He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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