so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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