Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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