I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
