marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
