1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
