I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
