i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
