It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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