belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish my penis had an off switch
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk is not a location!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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