I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
