Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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