Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
