Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
