what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize