I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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