Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
