All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
