I am full of burrito and curiosity
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I will be naked everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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