you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
