It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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