I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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