plz talk dirty to me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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