We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
