He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
