What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
