I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
