I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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