I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
