the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
