; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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