My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
