Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
