I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize