It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The air was thick with penises
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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