i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
