How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
