there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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