I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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