let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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