the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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