fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
