a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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