Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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