I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
