My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
there is puke in my bra ... again
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