This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You pole danced in your parka.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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