whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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