Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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