I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
