was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
