She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
