i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize