Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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